Selflessness

When we observe the human race and our motivation behind good deeds, we see that whilst we submit some deeds to be selfless, arguably they can all be traced back to some sort of selfish need.

For instance, say I paid for someone to have dinner, from the outside it seems selfless; I am giving to someone something of my own without really expecting something in return.
But surely if we delve in further to the outcome of the selfless act, we can come away with an alternative solution.

Let's take it back to babies. As babies we learn that actions have consequences, in both a good and bad way.
          So touching the oven is hot etc.
From this we can also learn that giving someone a hug gives them a great pleasure, since everyone responds 'Ahhhhh'.
Good deeds = gratification

Doing good things, we learn, gives us a great sense of happiness and fulfillment as the reciever shows us appreciation and thanks - and in our minds we may be thinking that one day they will repay us.

Taking this into consideration then, selflessness is not entirely possible.
Every act, we can then conclude, has some sort of gain expected (subconsciously or not) by the giver - whether physical, mental or verbal.  (Side note - is this necessarily a bad thing? John Piper says in Desiring God: 'Paul does not think the moral value of an act of love is ruined when we are motivated to do it by the anticipation of our own joy in it and from it...
1 Corinthians 13:3 "If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing"....
If it were, then a bad man who hated the prospect of loving could engage in pure love, since he would take no joy in it, while a good man who delighted in the prospect of loving could not love, since he could gain joy from it and thus ruin it' )

But What About Jesus? 
The act of Jesus dying on the cross is claimed to be a selfless act. Jesus did it for no self gain, but entirely for the cause of others. And esentially if it was selfish, it would not accurately depict the sacrifice God made or the love which he has, that motivated it. 

As a believer of Jesus' death and resurrection, initially I did not feel the need to question this fact.
Jesus died for us. That's all I need to know.  
But as a thinker, I started to wonder how this was a selfless act? If every other act has even a slight selfish motivation, how does this not?
My thoughts went like this:

1) Jesus died so that we can have a relationship with him and can go to heaven.
2) We were created to 'Glorify God' Isaiah 43:7
3) In Jesus dying, we can go to heaven, which means glorifying God forever more.
4) Jesus is God
5) In him dying, more people can go to heaven and praise him.
6) Is that not a selfish gain?

In full awareness that I was blaspheming in this train of thought, I pressed in and intended to find a satisfatory answer.
A question like this allows us in the Christian faith to continue to be amazed at how awesome and great God is. Which is why I strived to figure it out.

Upon looking at it, you could think;

Well Jesus died so God would get glory.
Which at the end of the day is true.

For anyone else, this would be highly selfish.
If I died so I could get glory, people would assume I was an egotistical, self absorbed person - similar to Epedocles who jumped into an active volcano to convince his followers that he was a god. (Fun fact)

Why is Jesus different?
The answer to this, of course, completely depends on whether or not you believe that Jesus was God.
If you believe he wasn't, Jesus is simply a mad man, like Empedocles.
If you believe he was, the answer is simple.

Turning back to John Piper's 'Desiring God', we find he addresses this problem:
'He must be for Himself if He is to be for us. The rules of humility that belong to a creature cannot apply in the same way to its creator. If God should turn away from Himself as the source of infinite joy, He would cease to be God. He would deny the infinite worth of His own glory. He would imply that there is something more valuable outside Himself. He would commit idolatry.'

So in essence, though the outcome of Jesus dying involves glory for God, it is through no selfish motivation. God likes us to glorify him for 2 main reasons:

1) If anything else was to get glory, it would be put above God, and like John Piper says, that would be idolatry.
2) Through us glorifying God, we recieve joy, peace and total satisfaction in him. And for a God that is love, he desires his people to  feel complete in him, because he loves us.


John Piper really helped me gain some closure on my issue of seflessness, and whilst it would be foolish of me to take his word as the absolute truth, his thoughts on the glory of God raise some very strong points, which for a believer resound to be accurate.

At the end of the day, however, we can be assured that God is a God who has a love so deep for us that he would sacrifice a perfect man for us, a perfect man who is His Son. With a pure, undying, unwavering and unconditional love motivating his every act, we cannot twist the ways of God to come across as selfish or for any reason other than for the good of his beloved creation.

Purpose

" GOAL DIRECTED BEHAVIOUR IS OBSERVED IN ALL BODIES OBEYING NATURAL LAWS, EVEN WHEN THEY LACK AWARENESS.
BUT NOTHING LACKING AWARENESS CAN TEND TO A GOAL EXCEPT IT BE DIRECTED BY SOMEONE WITH AWARENESS AND UNDERSTANDING; THE ARROW, FOR EXAMPLE, REQUIRES AN ARCHER.
EVERYTHING IN NATURE, THEREFORE, IS DIRECTED TO ITS GOAL BY SOMEONE WITH UNDERSTANDING, AND THIS WE CALL GOD" - AQUINAS

PURPOSE.

For a lot of people, purpose is, back of the mind, too scary to think about, living for the now, kind of a thought.
Trying to find our purpose on earth seems, for some, unachievable and unattainable.

When I was younger, I questioned what life was about. I looked at the world in an abstract way, questioning the societal norms that people live in day by day until the end of our lives.
As I looked at the world, I saw the schedule, and the plan....
School, uni, job, marriage, kids, retirement, grandkids.

Is that life? Is that satisfying for a life of 80 years or so?
Why, if every animal, every tree and everything else within the world has a greater purpose, would we not?

At 14, the future terrified me. I saw no way out of the socially inflicted life that seemed to be laid out and planned before me.
I felt like I had no substantial purpose.
In reality, I discovered the purpose of my life, not long after I had questioned it.

Picture this:
Some may say our purpose is to achieve happiness...
BUT what about those who are depressed, or those who don't feel happy?
Do they not have a purpose?

Some may also say that our purpose is to have a family...
BUT what about those who never marry or never have kids?
Do they not have a purpose?

PURPOSE is something we can all have.
Jesus' love and grace is something that we can all have, whether we are poor or rich, happy or sad, married or single.
So what does God say our purpose is?
To share the gospel and make disciples. (Exodus 9:16, Matthew 28:19)

In 2012, when I started following Jesus, the fear that had gripped me, left. The feeling of being lost left me as I was found (Luke 15:1-7), because I was made to feel loved, worthy and needed.
A love so contagious filled me that I couldn't keep it in, a love that excited me so much that I knew my life can be used as a way to declare it, I can be a vessel for his love, I can show others his freedom and I can reach out and have impact on people's lives.

A freedom where my purpose is at the front of my mind, not the back. Where you can feel full in your heart without necessarily being happy, because emotions are fleeting, but God is not. Where you can feel direction without doing the things planned for you by the world.

The purpose God can give is one where even when things are falling apart, your eyes remain fixed on your goal...passion, fire and enthusiasm still floods your soul as you glimpse at the lost world that continually moves around you.

The future has no restrictions, life is not a schedule.
God is not confined to... School, uni, job, marriage, kids, retirement and grandkids.
Our purpose may be one thing, but that thing is not dull, it's not restrictive.... It's exciting and forever moving forward.

It gives you meaning and it gives you life. 

Because even though it's one thing, it is given to us by the creator of all things, the one that gave the bees and the trees purpose, the one who has promised to help us in fulfilling his promise and plans for our lives.

As Aquinas said, God is the archer, he gives us the direction, his aim is perfect and it's always for a reason. 

When To Walk

(MATTHEW 14:26-9)

'.....AND PETER ANSWERED HIM, "LORD, IF IT IS YOU, COMMAND ME TO COME TO YOU ON THE WATER". HE SAID "COME". SO PETER GOT OUT OF THE BOAT AND WALKED OUT ON THE WATER AND CAME TO JESUS"


JESUS WALKS ON WATER.

Walking on water is an undeniably difficult feat. Continuous movement in multiple directions, with no resistance underfoot to carry our weight. It therefore comes as no surprise that, thus far,  only 2 have successfully conquered the waves and their unsteadiness. One being the son of God, the other, one of his 3 closest friends.

I wonder if Jesus walked.
Jesus....fully God, fully man, so confident in the Father that he endeavours to walk on the raging, stormy sea, despite every physics fact upholding that it is entirely impossible.
 He could have strutted knowing that no matter what, he would not fail with God on his side.
 He could have skipped knowing that his footing would not be lost.
He could have moonwalked knowing that he would not lose the direction he set out to go in.
 His trust was so secure in God, that the physics of the world itself could not restrict him.

As people, we have the tendency to doubt.

When I was younger, we used to go on road trips a lot, to visit my nan or go on holiday. On each of these road trips we would always drive back at night, exhaustion would grip my little body, and as I drifted off into an uncomfortable - seat belt digging in, no pillow - sleep, I would contemplate the critical world issues...if I got a pony, when I'd next see my friends, my existence and more often than not, my bizarrely deep-thinking self would wonder what I would do if my family was to ever just drop me off somewhere unknown.

Morbid and depressing indeed.

Whilst this would never happen and there was no reason for me to even be considering this, it is interesting how we question everything and everyone, doubting others and having restraint when it comes to trusting others.

With this in mind, how can we know that after stepping out of the boat, we will not sink and be helped in this unstable environment?

A question, myself and many others have mulled over before is...

When is it time to step out?


Taking this passage as a guide, we assess...

When did Peter step out?
When he knew Jesus was there

How did Peter know it was OK?
When Jesus said "come"  

In reality now, however, for Christ followers, Jesus isn't physically there when we step out, and he isn't necessarily always as clear to us as he was to Peter.

How can we know that when we feel as though we should step out, God will be there to guide us and provide the support we need?
 The interesting thing is, we cannot know for sure, what kept Peter above water was faith (Hebrews 11:1 ' faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen'). Peter knew it was impossible, yet he had faith that he could walk on the waves. In reality, Peter was most likely petrified, Jesus said one word, and Peter went. Yet it would seem the uncertainty only gripped Peter after he made the step, by which point Jesus was there to pull him up.

If, as followers of Christ, we believed he was resurrected, surely, we too can believe he walked on water.
And if we believe this, that therefore follows that we can believe he will be there to guide us and help us upon stepping out of the boat.

With the spirit within us, and the instruction to go (Mark 16:15), anytime we go, anytime we step out, we can be reassured that God is there, that if we stumble, as Peter did, we have a God who is moonwalking on the water, ready to provide encouragement and help as we make a bold step towards him.

Stillness

BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD - Psalm 46:10

Stillness.

For someone who has always lived in a town outside of London, stillness is an unfamiliar, inconceivable concept. Stillness only happens at night if you don't have things that need to be ready for the next day, bills to pay, young kids or worry keeping your mind and body awake.

Stillness only happens on Christmas morning after you've opened all your presents and you're in the period in between that and dinner...as you sit anxiously awaiting something to do.
Stillness for the city slickers doesn't even happen on holiday.
Holidays are skiing, watersports, mountaineering, and rushing off to do the next tourist activity. Holidays are needed to recover from holidays.

Do we as the city folk even know how to be still?

We used to go on holiday a lot to France when I was growing up, not to the peak tourist areas, but the country. Where 'town' was a street with, if you're lucky, a corner shop and post box. Where old men would sit out on plastic chairs in front of their houses and watch the world go by for hours on end. Where old ladies would sit on park benches watching the game of boule.

For the city folk...an absolute nightmare.
Sit for 5 minutes and you can list a thousand things you could be doing instead.
But for communities like the French countryside, the people are more reliant on observance, they see things and they appreciate things. Putting time and love and care into things is essential.

This year, I have been battling with stillness and my own minds misconception that stillness equates to unproductivity and laziness. That because my life largely consists of meeting up with people or days at home, my purpose is lacking.
That because in this season I am not working, my worth in society decreases.

A misconception indeed.

In the recent series in church we discussed the concept that the devil can use busyness as a method to draw us away from God.
And as I sit here on the balcony I am reminded of all the days I have had where I became anxious due to having no plans.
The enemy has successfully misconstrued my thoughts to think that these days are a curse, when in actual fact these days are an incredible blessing from the Lord himself.
A year of no working, with provision, a roof over my head, friends, a supportive family, a beautiful country and a glorious church.

In what possible way could this be viewed as anything but a blessing?

But stillness in a fast paced society does instigate feelings of anxiety, laziness and unproductivity. Because to society, without a high flying, 6 figure earning career, who even are you?

Ah society, little do you know that our identity is not embedded in careers or working everyday. Our identity is embedded in the Lord God almighty who calls us to be still, who reminds us to rest and whose very son took time to simply

'know that I am God'.

And surely, if it's good enough for the Son of God, it's most definitely good enough for us!

Mere Christianity: chapter 1

Synopsis: during the second world war, C.S.Lewis was called upon by the BBC to give a series of lectures broadcasts that would ultimately bring new meaning to the lives of adults in all walks of life. Bringing together these legendary talks, Mere Christianity has become regarded as the most popular and accessible of C.S.Lewis's works, reminding us of the truly important things in life and showing the way to joy and contentment.

Chapter One: The Law of Human Nature

Chapter one expresses C.S.Lewis's stand point on universal moral truths or, as he and a number before him called them, the Law of Nature. Lewis touches on the fact that we commonly associate the Law of Nature with such things as gravity or chemistry, yet previously it was used to describe the topic of morals, or what is right and wrong.
Lewis approaches the Law of nature from a perspective where our morals are innate, in-built in our minds from birth. He talks about how everyone knows what is right and wrong, but there are some hindrances which can prevent people from pursuing the right path, such as tiredness or hunger. 'People may be sometimes mistaken about them, just as people sometimes get their sums wrong;but they are not a matter of mere taste and opinion any more than the multiplication table'. At the end of the day, however, Lewis is saying we can't choose our morals, even when we do go wrong from time to time, the reactions from people following this actually proves that they, firstly, know they've done wrong, and secondly it proves that these morals are universally understood.
Lewis supports his view by explaining that 'whenever you find a man who says he does not believe in real right and wrong, you will find the same man going back on this a moment later'. This perspective can be supported by the scenario of a rich man who likes to party, smoke weed and live life with no cares, declaring 'do whatever makes you happy', 'don't let people tell you what to do' and 'YOLO', then this man gets robbed, and this perspective suddenly shifts...so he calls the police, sues the people behind it and tells them to follow the law. The same person who, one minute ago was talking about freedom, suddenly alters that, due to a situation which affects them personally.  What he viewed as being morally free, was actually unawareness. He felt that way all along, it just took theft to realise his stand point.
Lewis explains 'if we do not believe in decent behaviour, why should we be so anxious to make excuses for having behaved decently?'. Every single person in the world aims to please, contribute or benefit a greater good or a person. A terrorist, who some may believe has no morals, and does things for their own selfish purposes, still aspires to please and achieve a goal and a point of satisfaction; whether that is for a god or someone they aspire to be or something that they think needs to be changed to benefit society. If they do their particular task incorrectly, they will feel as though they have failed, underachieved and not reached the goal in which they were aiming for. They are anxious to please, and so if this task was to go wrong, they would strive to find excuses for its failure. They're aware of what is right and wrong. It may be distorted by other factors, but they are still aware of their short comings and still have a particular way they are  addressing the task at hand to conform to what they view as the ideal outcome.
Lewis also addresses the issue of cultural relativism, the view that different societies have different moral codes, he challenges the reader to ' think of a country where people were admired for running away in battle, or where a man felt proud for double-crossing all the people who had been kindest to him. You might as well try to imagine a country where two and two made five'. Essentially, Lewis is saying that there is no such society where the morals are so outlandish that they cannot be related to or cannot be imagined. Moral codes, whilst they have differences, are built upon the same foundations, that even though they may seem different are actually not overly far fetched because we all have the same understanding of the law of nature.

Chapter one was incredibly interesting to read and very thought provoking.
Chapter 2 will be complete soon.

A Summer Summary

I've been on summer now for several weeks, don't ask me exactly how long, for I could not tell you, all the weeks merge together after a while! As I woke up nice and early again because of the natural light that brightens up my room until I'd basically be experiencing the same brightness as outside, I realised that I hadn't done a blog post in quite a while. This isn't that I haven't done anything interesting, quite the opposite actually, I've been more busy than, quite frankly, ever before! 

I thought I'd do a nice summer summary (try saying that with a lisp, sorry) to fill in all the missing days and all the fun things I got up to whilst the sun was still shining and the kids were still at school! 

The week after Kew Gardens, my friends and I had organised my other friends birthday surprise to the zoo! This was such a fun day, she didn't suspect a thing and we were able to do everything we'd planned. We went to London zoo and wandered around there for a few hours having a picnic and gawping at the cuteness of the Penguins and goats (yes, they have goats at a zoo!). 

After the zoo, we went on the pedalos in Regent's Park. We took out 2 pedalos with 2 people in each and just had a lovely pedal around the lake, feeding the birds the leftover sausages and praying that they won't all die from overfeeding and not very nice gristly  cocktail sausages! 

After that we made our way to heaven on earth, otherwise known as GBK! It was a lovely way to finish the day, having a long catch up about everything, which hadn't happened in a rather long time! 

This summer I also went bowling. Twice. Once with a group of guys from my new hometown (Sevenoaks) which was interesting...but fun. And another time with my friend. 

I've been to a lovely deer park in Sevenoaks, knole park where I climbed trees and dubbed the deers #squadgoals because obviously that's what normal adults do! 

I went on a lovely day out with my friends in westerham where we had a delicious pub lunch and soaked up the incredible sun which had graced us that perfect day! Following that we went for a walk in the country, a very British day, one may say! 

I've also had a work barbecue this summer which was a lot of fun but ended in a bit of disaster! The barbecue was lovely, but being locked out of your house at 12:30 at night having decided that actually rescuing a stray dog was more important than clubbing, was not the highlight of my summer! But it all makes for a good memory! 

Then this week I went to bluewater shopping centre with one of my friends, picking up some dungarees for, I kid you not, £10 in Topshop! We had a curry in wagas at 11:30 in the morning and a Krispy Kreme (in a gift tin of course) to help it go down! 

I went to visit my nan who isn't too well at the moment and had a lovely day playing cards and eating a roast, the typical grandparents kind of day! 

I've had a couple of chill days with some of my best friends watching films and eating good (other than the pizza I made) food! 

Yesterday I spent the day making a cheesecake with lotus biscuits, quite possibly the best biscuits in the world, and watching both Inbetweeners films! 

Summer has been rather magnificent so far! I've loved spending so much time with friends and family and being able to go out and do things with so much freedom! Even if the day is bad, weather-wise, you can still have a blast! 

I hope you all have tremendous summers too, I'd love to hear about them! 

Fran x

The Happiness Project: Book Review

A few months ago, I purchased a book on my tablet which I had previously seen on Anthropologie's Pinterest and which looked very intriguing to me. Obviously it has taken me a while to complete because of exams and school etc etc. But that whole period of my life is now over....hallelujah!! And since then I have completed the book and absolutely loved it. I cannot stop telling people about it. If I could buy a copy for everyone I see, I would.

Synopsis
"Gretchen Rubin had an epiphany one rainy afternoon in the unlikeliest of places: a city bus. "The days are long, but the years are short," she realised. "Time is passing, and I'm not focusing enough on the things that really matter." In that moment, she decided to dedicate a year to her happiness project.
In this lively and compelling account, Rubin chronicles her adventures during the twelve months she spent test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific research, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happier. Among other things, she found that novelty and challenge are powerful sources of happiness; that money can help buy happiness, when spent wisely; that outer order contributes to inner calm; and that the very smallest of changes can make the biggest difference."

So if you are asking now, 'what was so good about it?', I will tell you.
Gretchen Rubin, the author, has a way of writing which is both incredibly informative, yet very easy to follow. Her anecdotes and areas of dialogue give you a real insight into the struggles and her life as she participates in her resolutions, putting them into practise and attempting to achieve greater happiness. I love the way she is brutally honest about her weaknesses in being happy and is also honest in how successful parts of her project were. Through being so honest, it allows the reader to really relate to her and see how the different parts of the project can be embedded into everyone's lives, if they strive to be happier.
Her use of famous philosophers, world leaders, and other inspirational people, not only allows you to feel super intelligent (you can just whip out a quote from Socrates from reading this book), you are also able to see that the pursuit of happiness is not only an ordeal seen in deep quotes on Pinterest or Tumblr, it dates back thousands of years when people still questioned and proposed answers to what makes us happy.
But I think what I love most about this book is how true a lot of the problems she faces are. She looks at negative language, and shows that there is a large proportion of statements that we make which are negative, even something like 'I'm so exhausted that I'm going to go to bed now' she questioned whether it was a complaint or statement of fact, and concluded, I think rightfully, that it was a complaint. It's the little things she picks out that we do unnoticed in our day to day lives which really help bring this book home, and helps you to see that although you may feel happy, there are little things you can improve upon which could make others happy and help maintain your mood.
One thing I also really enjoyed about this book was the way in which Rubin went about achieving her happiness resolutions. Her creation of a chart and setting out a clear strategy for tackling this daunting task is a way which, I know, really helps me with resolutions. It helped me when I gave up chocolate for lent and I can see it as being relatively successful as I attempt to put some of these resolutions into practise.

My favourite bit: 
This, although being a bit I truly love, is not necessarily my favourite. I tend to, now thanks to English A level, underline and highlight a lot of my books as I read them. But with this one, I didn't until nearer the end, so cannot remember the best bits from earlier on. This bit came from the month of August and is regarding a saint who Grubin came to admire:
'Thérése intensely disliked one of her fellow nuns, Teresa of Saint Augustine, whom Thérése described, without identifying her, as "a sister who has the faculty of displeasing me in everything, in her ways, her words, her character." Instead of avoiding her, Thérése sought out this nun at every turn and treated her "as if I loved her best of all" - so successfully that this sister once asked Thérése, "would you tell me...what attracts you so much toward me; every time you look at me, I see your smile?"
 After Thérése's death, when this disagreeable nun gave her testimony during the process of Thérése's beatification, she said smugly, "at least I can say this much for myself: during her life I made her really happy." Teresa of Saint Augustine never knew that she was the unlikeable sister mentioned in Story of a Soul until thirty years later, when the chaplain, in a fit of exasperation, told her the truth.'

The reason I love this bit is because, we each have someone we don't like, whether that is for a genuine reason or just due to their personality. But it makes life easier for the other person if the unspoken dislike between you doesn't arise and cause a greater problem. I think it is so admirable to be able to overlook this dislike and treat the other person with so much love. It is a tricky task, because the person you dislike will, undoubtedly still be dislikable even when you act positively towards them, but as Grubin also says, 'act the way you want to feel'. So if you act as if you genuinely care for the person, there is the possibility that you will start caring for them. And even if that doesn't happen, being nice towards someone you don't like creates a nicer atmosphere for you both , as well as the people around you.
I love the section, a few pages on from this, where Grubin acknowledges the difficulty people have being happy all the time, 'It is easy to be heavy; hard to be light'.
I know from experience, that when others are happy and your life isn't going as well as theirs, that you tend to be bitter and annoyed at their happiness. And sometimes, without even realising it, you go out of your way to deprive that person of their happiness, because you aren't feeling the same way. Being a happy person all the time, with these constant attacks, can, I imagine, be so challenging. Grubin acknowledges that the happy people, more often than not, do not get the credit they deserve, because being genuinely (or not) happy all the time is more exhausting than is imaginable. Being a genuinely happy person, I have learnt, is not about having nothing wrong. If that was the case, no one would ever be happy! Being a happy person is making the most out of situations, seeing the positives in the negatives, acting the way you want to feel and appreciating the small moments which often pass us by.

This book has taught me so much and I would definitely, definitely recommend that you read it. I have a much greater knowledge of what creates happiness, through seeing the results of Grubin's actions in her day to day life.
I will be attempting to partake in some of the resolutions she has made, with a focus on not being negative, and I may consider doing an update soon as to how it goes, in my attempt to be a happier person!

Fran x