The Happiness Project: Book Review

A few months ago, I purchased a book on my tablet which I had previously seen on Anthropologie's Pinterest and which looked very intriguing to me. Obviously it has taken me a while to complete because of exams and school etc etc. But that whole period of my life is now over....hallelujah!! And since then I have completed the book and absolutely loved it. I cannot stop telling people about it. If I could buy a copy for everyone I see, I would.

Synopsis
"Gretchen Rubin had an epiphany one rainy afternoon in the unlikeliest of places: a city bus. "The days are long, but the years are short," she realised. "Time is passing, and I'm not focusing enough on the things that really matter." In that moment, she decided to dedicate a year to her happiness project.
In this lively and compelling account, Rubin chronicles her adventures during the twelve months she spent test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific research, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happier. Among other things, she found that novelty and challenge are powerful sources of happiness; that money can help buy happiness, when spent wisely; that outer order contributes to inner calm; and that the very smallest of changes can make the biggest difference."

So if you are asking now, 'what was so good about it?', I will tell you.
Gretchen Rubin, the author, has a way of writing which is both incredibly informative, yet very easy to follow. Her anecdotes and areas of dialogue give you a real insight into the struggles and her life as she participates in her resolutions, putting them into practise and attempting to achieve greater happiness. I love the way she is brutally honest about her weaknesses in being happy and is also honest in how successful parts of her project were. Through being so honest, it allows the reader to really relate to her and see how the different parts of the project can be embedded into everyone's lives, if they strive to be happier.
Her use of famous philosophers, world leaders, and other inspirational people, not only allows you to feel super intelligent (you can just whip out a quote from Socrates from reading this book), you are also able to see that the pursuit of happiness is not only an ordeal seen in deep quotes on Pinterest or Tumblr, it dates back thousands of years when people still questioned and proposed answers to what makes us happy.
But I think what I love most about this book is how true a lot of the problems she faces are. She looks at negative language, and shows that there is a large proportion of statements that we make which are negative, even something like 'I'm so exhausted that I'm going to go to bed now' she questioned whether it was a complaint or statement of fact, and concluded, I think rightfully, that it was a complaint. It's the little things she picks out that we do unnoticed in our day to day lives which really help bring this book home, and helps you to see that although you may feel happy, there are little things you can improve upon which could make others happy and help maintain your mood.
One thing I also really enjoyed about this book was the way in which Rubin went about achieving her happiness resolutions. Her creation of a chart and setting out a clear strategy for tackling this daunting task is a way which, I know, really helps me with resolutions. It helped me when I gave up chocolate for lent and I can see it as being relatively successful as I attempt to put some of these resolutions into practise.

My favourite bit: 
This, although being a bit I truly love, is not necessarily my favourite. I tend to, now thanks to English A level, underline and highlight a lot of my books as I read them. But with this one, I didn't until nearer the end, so cannot remember the best bits from earlier on. This bit came from the month of August and is regarding a saint who Grubin came to admire:
'Thérése intensely disliked one of her fellow nuns, Teresa of Saint Augustine, whom Thérése described, without identifying her, as "a sister who has the faculty of displeasing me in everything, in her ways, her words, her character." Instead of avoiding her, Thérése sought out this nun at every turn and treated her "as if I loved her best of all" - so successfully that this sister once asked Thérése, "would you tell me...what attracts you so much toward me; every time you look at me, I see your smile?"
 After Thérése's death, when this disagreeable nun gave her testimony during the process of Thérése's beatification, she said smugly, "at least I can say this much for myself: during her life I made her really happy." Teresa of Saint Augustine never knew that she was the unlikeable sister mentioned in Story of a Soul until thirty years later, when the chaplain, in a fit of exasperation, told her the truth.'

The reason I love this bit is because, we each have someone we don't like, whether that is for a genuine reason or just due to their personality. But it makes life easier for the other person if the unspoken dislike between you doesn't arise and cause a greater problem. I think it is so admirable to be able to overlook this dislike and treat the other person with so much love. It is a tricky task, because the person you dislike will, undoubtedly still be dislikable even when you act positively towards them, but as Grubin also says, 'act the way you want to feel'. So if you act as if you genuinely care for the person, there is the possibility that you will start caring for them. And even if that doesn't happen, being nice towards someone you don't like creates a nicer atmosphere for you both , as well as the people around you.
I love the section, a few pages on from this, where Grubin acknowledges the difficulty people have being happy all the time, 'It is easy to be heavy; hard to be light'.
I know from experience, that when others are happy and your life isn't going as well as theirs, that you tend to be bitter and annoyed at their happiness. And sometimes, without even realising it, you go out of your way to deprive that person of their happiness, because you aren't feeling the same way. Being a happy person all the time, with these constant attacks, can, I imagine, be so challenging. Grubin acknowledges that the happy people, more often than not, do not get the credit they deserve, because being genuinely (or not) happy all the time is more exhausting than is imaginable. Being a genuinely happy person, I have learnt, is not about having nothing wrong. If that was the case, no one would ever be happy! Being a happy person is making the most out of situations, seeing the positives in the negatives, acting the way you want to feel and appreciating the small moments which often pass us by.

This book has taught me so much and I would definitely, definitely recommend that you read it. I have a much greater knowledge of what creates happiness, through seeing the results of Grubin's actions in her day to day life.
I will be attempting to partake in some of the resolutions she has made, with a focus on not being negative, and I may consider doing an update soon as to how it goes, in my attempt to be a happier person!

Fran x

Obsessions

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I've been thinking for a while now about the obsessive nature of a lot of people these days. And just a few minutes ago I was having a think to myself even more about the subject of idols and how much of an impact it has on the young (and in fact older) people of today. It appears to me that as soon as someone becomes a little famous, people latch on to them, following them on all social media, crying and screaming when they meet them and treating them like absolute royalty. Don't get me wrong, I love a bit of celebrity gossip, I love hearing about the Kardashians, Taylor Swift and all the Victoria secret models, but it just actually frightens me a little to see the extent to which people go to meet, and get these celebrities to notice them!

For example, as I was having a think on my walk, I realised that people idolise Taylor Swift. I adore Taylor Swift and have done for many years and I'm glad she's finally getting the recognition for her music and personality at last. But I realised that people idolise Taylor swift and many others for being able to make a good tune; obviously it's a little more than that but when you break it down it just seems absurd. Even more ridiculous is someone like Kim Kardashian, people idolise Kim for being attractive and living a life that, to many, is the dream. It's crazy! 

What I find quite frightening is the reactions to the youtubers. In the past year or so youtubers have gained an immense amount of recognition and a massive amount of fans. These fans are scary, no joke! They scream when they meet them, wait outside their houses and attribute their happiness to the 'celebrities'. I can see how the videos can put you in a good mood and can help you in some circumstances, but I find it quite worrying when the fans' whole happiness is simply embedded in the 10 minute video of a person they've never met! 

People are really obsessed with fame, you see people comment on people such as Zoella and Karlie Kloss things like 'I love you', 'you're perfect' etc and it just baffles me how someone can admit they love someone having not even met them! 

I also had a thought a while back that if ever you wanted to feel good about yourself just know that if you were famous, people would undoubtably call you perfect. And scarily it's true, the people who you would arguably never look twice at in the street if they weren't famous are suddenly being called perfect! I may sound blunt and I'm all for positive vibes, but perfection? Really? 

I suppose it may be due to my Christian perspective, but there appears to me to be a correlation between the world becoming more secular and the obsessive ideology which is continuing to emerge. As people no longer have God to praise and worship and celebrate for his blessings; people turn to everyday people. And for me this is proof of God's existence, the amount of times celebrities have gone to rehab because they can't cope with the pressure (see Britney Spears and shaving head incident) is astounding, a normal human is not capable of the amount of praise and essentially worship that is thrust upon them from fans all around the world. But because people no longer have this relationship with God, they place their admiration onto celebrities. 

I can say this with confidence because it happened to me before becoming a Christian and as I was coming to terms with my faith. In 2012, the Hunger Games was due to come out, and I became almost obsessed with the stars of it, watching every interview and seeing every film with them in that I could. I followed them on Twitter, tried to message them, learnt everything about them even down to height. And looking back now it was so consuming, what did I gain from it?!

I feel so much more liberated now not having any idols and not feeling constricted to anything or anyone famous, only checking up on Karlie kloss and Taylor Swift for the fun of it and most certainly not obsessively. 

I think it's so sad to see the deterioration of people's individuality because of their obsession with celebrities, and I have so much hope for the generations of today that they will force themselves out of that pointless obsession and into a liberated world. 

I'd also go so far to say that the obsession of today has led to the social anxiety which is more frequent now, as well as (arguably) the doubling cases of eating disorders which are being dealt with. Through checking up with celebrities constantly and obsessively keeping track of every aspect of their lives, people are losing touch with their own lives, envisioning their life to be easier and more like the celebrities if they lose weight and if they copy every element of their life - leading to people not going out or spending more time on their own analysing these people (which through watching films and videos they arguably are!). 

I really wish such an obsessive idolistic society wasn't a reality, it is definitely unhealthy for people, both the celebrities and the fans, and I feel as though many increasing difficulties would be resolved or decreased in severity if everyone stopped being so frighteningly obsessed! 

I commend you for reading all of that; this is something I've been thinking about a lot recently and I hope you've found this interesting and agreeable! Have a lovely week, 

Fran x

*photo credited to google images